Position: Bass Guitar, Bitchin' Hair
Gear: Fender Precision, Ampeg SVT Classic/8x10 Cab, Dristan Nasal Mist
Influences: Don Knotts, Jim Henson, Cliff Burton, Mitch Dedberg, Marty Scorsese, Harold Snepts, Okanagan Pale Ale.
Currently Driving: A stolen 2003 GMC Sierra (the Stallion)
Killer Quote: "You grab his wallet..."

Excerpt from "Revoltage: The Story of BC/DC"
An un-authorized biography by Herpeez Splitznyuks, 2006, Treasoner/Scottson Publishing.
"...all they needed was a bass player. They found him in a neighboring village called Chunk. He was outside the 7-11 puking in a garbage can. Spliff Swilliams was an absolute drunkard with a carton a day smoking habit, even at the tender age of 16. He had cool hair and his uncle Ted had a bass guitar so he was in."